Settling in

Written April 22nd



Today the family went to church. I decided to stay behind until I am a bit more settled into things here and I was expecting Diana to arrive at some point in the day so I wanted to be around to greet her when she did. She showed up at around 11am, and she seemed pretty tired. Once the family got home from church we met the kids outside and watched them play, they really are such precious children. I think Carli is really blessed and lucky to have them with her. There is so much going on in the house all the time, I sometimes feel I need to escape for a little while and have some time with myself, and I’m glad I have a room to do that and no one really asks questions or disturbs you upstairs which is nice. I just want to make sure I stay grounded to who I am and it’s really hard to think and reflect and take everything in when there is so much chaos and confusion. I’m sure I will feel like this for the first little while until I really get settled in. The strange thing is that I haven’t cried yet, which I was expecting to do quite a bit during my first week here. I guess there has been too much excitement and discovery going on to be emotional. When I listen to my music from home that Kat put together for me is when I feel uneasy. It’s not even a sad feeling I get though. It’s almost as if I’m not ready to think about home because I’m not at a point of extreme discomfort yet, which is a good thing I guess. I have had to turn off my music because I’m not yet ready to remove myself from the environment here. I want to feel it all right now; I want to live it as much as I can. And yes, I have phoned home and been on Facebook and once I get a stable internet connection I may be even more connected to home, but I am resisting the urge to get caught up in the negativity of an uncomfortable and unfamiliar situation and instead trying to embrace it. The alone time is just my way of staying healthy. Tomorrow is my first day of practicum, and I’m really curious to see what that’s going to look like.