Mind whirling..

Written June 17th


Hmmm.. Where to begin? I have a million things going through my head this evening. I can't stop feeling so emotional about leaving Uganda. Of course I don't want the focus of the last few weeks of my trip to be on my departure but I am forced to realize how little time I have left every time I think of a flight, a deadline, a plan, a timeline. It's impossible to avoid the inevitable. I have to go home. I am seriously worried about how I will handle this. I never imagined that going home would be an issue for me. I am almost wishing I didn't have to spend time in London because I wonder if it's just going to be a completely depressing 10 days. I imagine myself crying the entire car ride to the airport and the entire plane ride to London. It's the only thing these past 2 months that has made me get really emotional. I'm laying here in bed crying about going home. It's ridiculous. I feel like I belong here. I've never believed much in traveling to a place more than once but this one is an exception. If I don't come back here I will be very surprised and disappointed. And I bet I'll stay longer than 3 months next time. I may have to find some kind of paid employment next time I'm here in order to pay for the trip. Sighhhhh. The places my mind wanders.. Sometimes I think I may be a bit insane. Does the rest of the world have a hundred thoughts going through their minds at once or is it just me? I feel like if I had to live with myself, just myself, for like a month, I would go insane. My constant thoughts would drive me crazy. I neeeeeeeeed to break this stuff down. Thank goodness for Zanzibar. Then I am thrown into the craziness of London. Ugh, what was I thinking? But what's done is done and I am going to have as much fun as possible.