I miss this family so much. Just looking at this picture brings tears to my eyes. I don't know if I realized how much I love and miss them until looking at them again. I wish I was still with them. It was the most comfortable I've ever felt around so many children (since I'm normally not much of a kid person). I can't believe I was just there 3 weeks ago.. it feels like it's forever away now. And more than anyone I think I miss Carli the most. She really is an amazing person and we got along so well. I don't think I have ever gotten so comfortable with someone so quickly.. it was like we had known each other for years.

I need to go back there. I don't know when or how or for how long but I am 100% certain that I am supposed to make a trip back there no matter what it takes. I wish I was still there now. I am finding it impossible to live the way I did there here. Impossible to feel the way I did there. I remember being happy every day. I obviously had moments of sadness but I knew I was supposed to be there and knew what I wanted to accomplish. I was never confused about what I was supposed to do. Now that I'm back I could not be more confused. All I know is that I need to make a change.