Just breathe

Written April 29th


Today I am feeling a bit rough after last night’s activities. Me and a few of the girls ended up staying up until 5am hanging out in their outdoor dining area drinking beer, playing cards, chatting and listening to music. (And singing along to some songs which probably didn’t sound as good as we thought it did at the time.) It was exactly what I needed this weekend. I have been feeling so not myself being around my roommate because her constant mindless chatter and nervous energy has really shut me down. I must keep in mind that I was put with her for a specific reason and she is here for a reason. I feel like I am handling it well but I could be handling it a lot better. It’s so difficult for me not to feel like I am being mean by telling her to basically back off and leave me alone. But I neeeeeeed space so badly. Like this weekend I actually felt normal. Not insane the way I often feel around her. I need to be able to walk away without her following. Or to have time with Carli without her tagging along. I can see this being a long 10 weeks. But this is my path and my destiny and I will make the best of it in every way possible. I just have to keep reminding myself to stay in check.