Today was an intense freaking day. I was not prepared for what came at me today. I have been anticipating saying some goodbyes this week at practicum so I have been prepping myself in order to stop myself from crying. It's not that I'm ashamed to show emotion (in fact if you know me you know I don't hold back in this department..I wear my heart on my sleeve) but more that I want to respect the cultural norms here. People don't cry publicly and I have really tried hard to do the same because I don't want to make others uncomfortable. But today it came out. Teresa actually started crying because of what I was saying about my experience with my practicum which I was not expecting at all. And this of course set me off and I teared up (with a bit of control at least) and then a couple of the women started tearing up too. And it's only Monday! Wtf!! Give me a break until Wednesday at least because that will be my real breaking point. I want to at least maintain some dignity while I still can. These people are going to think I'm dying or something when they see me cry. Such a mess. But this is just me. I think I'm the most outwardly emotional person I know and I'm ok with that, I just wish others could be. What is it about crying that makes people so uncomfortable? People always feel the need to make it stop. Did anyone ever think that maybe there's a healthy reason for tears? Maybe I should get some out of my system before Wednesday so that it's not as brutal when it happens in front of everyone. My goodness I am a freak aren't I?
Myself and Teddy (one of the parents we work with)
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