I'm going through all of my stuff today in an attempt to organize, clean, and get rid of shit. So far I've managed to get 3 garbage bags full of stuff that I'm going to donate/sell. Some of it is actually in really good shape or almost new so I'm excited about the possibility of making some money back that I wasted on the crap to begin with. It feels so good to get rid of stuff. So much lighter. I actually like having less choice in my life. I get overwhelmed otherwise haha.
For so many years I have been doing unhealthy things to fill voids. Spending money on stuff that I don't need, looking for the wrong things in relationships in order to feel better about myself. Only to end up feeling worse. I suppose everyone goes through this is some way but it's bullshit to me and it's not how I want to live. Material items and meaningless physical relationships have got me nowhere but feeling empty. I really need to focus my energy on things that will truly make me happy.
I was going through some of my stuff and I have boxes of things I consider keepsakes or memories of certain times. It's a little sad how much of these things I keep. But I was reading cards and looking at luggage tags and all that good stuff and I just thought to myself, did I really go to Africa? Is this something I actually did or was it all a dream? It feels so far away and I'm starting to feel really disconnected from those experiences. Not a day goes by that I don't think about Uganda. And I don't spend my time thinking fondly of the memories I have, I'm thinking of how much I want to go back, or how much I want to travel more. I really think it's crazy to people how much I think or talk about it, and I try to limit myself, but they weren't there and they didn't fall in love like I did.
Good thing I'm gonna be going nuts working two jobs for a while. It'll get me saving money which will eventually get me back.
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